


we can't make the world better since we brought perfection into it

by maria_is_obsessed



Series: if we're gonna play too much the joy will spread and become our child [3]
Category: The Queen's Gambit (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gentle Kissing, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, In a way, Light Angst, Love, Misunderstandings, benny is in love, benny is mezmerised, beth being self concious, beth being totally oblivious, body image issues, breastfeeding..i guess, crying while breastfeeding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29320044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maria_is_obsessed/pseuds/maria_is_obsessed
Summary: Beth gave birth on a bathroom floor.Benny finds out.He has a hard time processing things.
Relationships: Beth Harmon & Benny Watts, Beth Harmon/Benny Watts
Series: if we're gonna play too much the joy will spread and become our child [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2151045
Comments: 10
Kudos: 62





	we can't make the world better since we brought perfection into it

“I still can’t believe that you gave birth in a fucking public restrooom!” Benny said quietly. He was laying flat on the bed, his baby girl on his chest sleeping and his wife next to him, her head resting on his bicep.

“Mhm…Zvetlana helped me a lot…I don’t think it would’ve been that sterile if she wasn’t there.” Beth mused, looking at her daughter. “I think the FBI agent will lose his job for letting a russian touch the prized american World Chess Champion...What do you think?” she asked, a smile forming on her lips.

“Ask me that after I realise that you _gave birth in a bathroom_ during my first match against Borgov in _years_ and that now we have a daughter.” he said, kissing the top of Beth’s head. She giggled and closed her eyes, exhaustion taking over her body.

* * *

It was two in the morning and Benny Watts woke up to a small weight on his chest moving. And then it started crying. Profusely. And the grandmaster got scared…shitless. You see, he completely forgot the events of the previous day or maybe just dismissed them, probably thinking the events were a strange dream. He was frozen still, in his panic. He didn’t know how but at some point Beth turned the lamp on and took the baby off of his chest and started pulling at her nightgown, taking a breast out and feeding it to the babe. That’s the exact moment it clicked. ( _ Would he admit that he forgot that his wife gave birth? No. Would he admit that he got scared of his daughter crying? No… But only if she’s an infant, she could cry her little heart out and it was easy to resolve, but now… If she cried it would've been the end of the world for him because he can’t control everything that surrounds his baby anymore and he feels helpless. _ )

“Kid! You gave birth! Actually gave birth!” Benny exclaimed with a shocked grin on his face.

“Didn’t we talk about this already?” Beth asked, looking at through half closed eyes. 

“Yeah…of course we did!” he reassured her. He looked at her and then he saw her.

Beth Harmon, the fiercest, smartest, most beautiful woman he has ever met, was breastfeeding his child. Her fairy red hair was quite messy, her eyes were half closed and full of exhaustion and even though she probably didn’t have the power to stay awake for a second longer, she did and paid close attention to how her daughter was eating, if the girl was doing it properly, if the baby popped off of her nipple, or any other issue that could arise in the process. Beth was doing the most natural thing a woman could ever do, in a horrid state of existence, but somehow she looked holy. Benny came from a very religious family and during his childhood he saw enough paintings of saints and of the Virgin Mary to tell you that none of them looked half as Godly as this sinner of a woman. This perfectly imperfect woman that was his wife.

She raised her eyes to meet his gaze and he was probably frowning at the miracle that he was witnessing, sadly she didn’t see his frowning as a positive sign so she got out of bed and faced the wall, so Benny could only see her back. And in her genius brain the most idiotic idea played out. And it went something like: ‘how do you imagine him to ever look at you now that you have a child? You weren’t that great before, but now…I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d ask for a divorce in the next month…’. And then she was snapped back to reality, realising that she’d been crying quietly.

“Beth, what’s wrong?” Benny asked, his hands resting on her cheeks, wiping away her tears.

“You don’t have to pretend, Benny. I know I look horrendous right now and that my body will never be the same…I really don’t want to make you look at me if you don’t want to…” Beth sobbed as she rocked her baby slowly.

“I would be fucking insane if I found you anything other than magnificent!” he stated “Clinically fucking insane, because guess what Beth? You are doing the most beautiful thing that I’ve ever seen in my whole entire life! You’re literally ethereal! And you don’t even know it!” Benny half shouted, half laughed.

Beth looked at him and shook her head at his words and moved away from him, but goddammit if the only thing he learnet after Paris was _ follow Beth when she moves away from you _ , then let it be so! Benny grabbed her by her shoulders and squeezed her lightly. 

“I said this once and I’ll say it again. I am completely and utterly in love with you just the way you are. You could gain 1000 pounds and I’d still love you, you could decide tomorrow that you don’t want to hear another thing about chess and I won’t mention it to you ever again, you could do whatever and I’d still fucking love you!” he murmured to her. Benny leanet in to kiss her and she took him in. And the sweet moment lasted for about five seconds since the youngest member of the Harmon-Watts family decided that it was time to cry because she was tired. 

“I can’t even be mad at her…” Benny said as he took the baby from his wife’s arms. “I think she gets her charm from her father.” he mused.

“Like her hair and the furrowed brow.” Beth replied with a small smile and dried tears on her face. 

They got into bed for the second time that night and they laid like that for a few hours that felt like mere minutes. Benny whispered sweet nothings to Beth, telling her about how hard it was to refrain from taking her to his bed, back in New York. And she listened until she couldn’t anymore and sleep came over her and even though she was already asleep he continued to tell her about her wit and beauty and how he perceived her ‘Goddess among men’ he said to her. And he fell asleep with her name leaving a sweet taste on his tongue.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If there are any misspelled words, please let me know(English isn't my first language and it's almost 2:00AM here)! Please be kind in the comments! And thank you for the support I got on the first two chapters!! I didn't name the baby yet so please give me suggestions in your comments! Have a nice day/evening/night/ morning!!!❤️❤️❤️


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